Jokes anyone?

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Jokes anyone?

Post  D.n.r on Sat Aug 15, 2009 5:18 am

Now I was just thinking to myself what this forum needs is a place for people to post some jokes and have a laugh? I had a quick look around but couldnt see anything. my bad if theres already a joke thread.

So if anyones got any decent jokes they can post them if not then allgood.
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Re: Jokes anyone?

Post  D.n.r on Sat Aug 15, 2009 5:20 am

I guess I should start it off. Found this random one on the net thought it was kinda funny so here goes(by the way no offense to any of you nuns out there.........)

Nun Decorators

The head nun tells the two new nuns that they have to paint their room without getting any paint on their clothes. So the one nun says to the other, "Hey, let's take all our clothes off, fold them up, and lock the door."

So they do this, and begin painting their room. Soon they hear a knock at the door. They ask, "Who is it?"

"Blind man!"

The nuns look at each other, then one nun says, "He's blind, he can't see. What could it hurt." They let him in.

The blind man walks in and says, "Hey, nice tits. Where do you want me to hang the blinds?"
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Re: Jokes anyone?

Post  Mark [Admin] on Sat Aug 15, 2009 8:02 pm

lol! nice one man – i'll try and throw some up too
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Jokes anyone?

Post  nakidrummerkid on Tue Aug 25, 2009 8:20 am

Blonde paint job

(Not intended to offend any blondes)

A blonde, wanting to earn some money, decided to hire herself out as a handyman-type and started canvassing a wealthy neighborhood. She went to the front door of the first house and asked the owner if he had any jobs for her to do.

"Well, you can paint my porch. How much will you charge?"
The blonde said, "How about 50 dollars?" The man agreed and told her that the paint and ladders that she might need were in the garage. The man's wife, inside the house, heard the conversation and said to her husband, "Does she realize that the porch goes all the way around the house?"
The man replied, "She should. She was standing on the porch."

A short time later, the blonde came to the door to collect her money.
"You're finished already?" he asked. "Yes," the blonde answered, "and I had paint left over, so I gave it two coats. "Impressed, the man reached in his pocket for the $50. "And by the way," the blonde added, "that's not a Porch, it's a Ferrari." Laughing Laughing
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Re: Jokes anyone?

Post  granstar on Thu Sep 03, 2009 9:28 am

Good turns bad
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=41zwp7S6daw


A young Chinese couple gets married. She's a virgin.

Truth be told, he is a virgin too, but she doesn't know
that.

On their wedding night, she cowers naked under the sheets

as her husband undresses in the darkness.

He climbs into bed next to her and tries to be reassuring.

"My darring," he whispers, "I know dis your firss time

and you bely flighten. I pomise you, I give you anyting you
want, I do anyting - juss anyting you want.

you juss ask... so....whatchu want?" he says,

trying to sound experienced and worldly,

which he hopes will impress her.

A thoughtful silence follows and he waits patiently

(and eagerly) for her request.

She eventually shyly whispers back,

"I want to try someting I have heard about

from other gurls . . . . . . . ... .Numbaa 69."

More thoughtful silence, this time from him.

Eventually, in a puzzled tone ! he asks her....

"You want... Garlic Chicken with steam vegtable?"
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Takin the pizz

Post  granstar on Tue Sep 29, 2009 8:47 am

Scroll down pic 4 Now that is a real throne ... some other goodies here too.

http://www.total-drums.com/drummer-jokes.html
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Re: Jokes anyone?

Post  Belltone on Fri Mar 19, 2010 8:54 pm

A blonde suspects her boyfriend of cheating on her, so she goes out and buys
a gun.
She goes to his apartment unexpectedly, and when she
opens the door she finds him in the arms of a redhead. Well, the blonde is really angry. She opens her
purse to take out the gun, and as she does so, she is
overcome with grief. She takes the gun and puts it to her head. The boyfriend yells, “No, honey, don’t do it!!!”
The blonde replies, “Shut up, you’re next!”

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Re: Jokes anyone?

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